In case the featured photo wasn’t a dead giveaway; this isn’t a post regarding the sort of resolutions you make on January 1st after a month of swilling your own weight in mulled wine and bread sauce. It’s a post chronicling things that one shalt not utter/do while lucky enough to be on a self-catering sun hollier whenever the next one manages to roll around (we’re pencilling something in for 2028 at this point).
1) Insist on eating out more… we seemed to be tethered to the apartment for most of our coveted sun holiday due to the baby’s nap times. We could either walk around for all eternity, complete with major hanger, waiting for her to go on the nod in the buggy (no chance), or we could just have lunch in the gaff. Invariably we chose the latter, which meant not venturing outdoors until about 3pm. Which brings us to point no. 2.
2) I will not repeatedly shout “SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT VENUE.” It doesn’t make anyone feel any better – even if it is true.
3) Engage the drying option on the washer (if there’s a washer/dryer, obvs)… It doesn’t matter that there’s “really great drying out”, you’re not paying extra for the electricity bill, feck the clothes horse and fiddling about with pegs.
4) Swim in the sea whenever possible (and not just because they can’t follow you out there. OK, they can, but mine never did after I offered to bring them in past their knees). Don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m constantly treading water to the point of being submerged. So to actually swim is a bit of a novelty. What’s even better is floating. There’s nothing like letting yourself go and having a good float.
5) When you do manage to eat out, SAVOUR and ENJOY not having to get down on the hands and knees to clean up this shit.
6) Don’t feel guilty about not cleaning it up. You earned the break, Godnammit.
I know there’s only meant to be 5 resolutions, but sure there’s always something else, isn’t there.