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Five Kids’ Films To Get You Through The Summer…

The original title was “Five Kids’ Films That Don’t Make Me Want to Claw Out My Own Eyes and Stuff Them In My Ears (yet)”, but you have to think of Google rankings. 

Last summer, it was Frozen, Barney, various Dora DVDs *smacks head off desk*, Bob The Builder, Frozen, Toy Story 3 (apart from the bit where they’re about to go to their death; she’d lose her sh*t altogether), and Frozen.

This summer – given we’re generally housebound thanks to the 1-year-old’s naps (and the fact that sometimes conjuring up the energy to even get dressed some days is insurmountable), on rainy days we need some additional ammo – and preferably something that doesn’t make the brain feel like it’s grinding through a mincer at a glacial pace.

Given our DVD player is on it’s way out (sounds like a cat with sinus issues snoring after a night on the ‘nip), and our collective inability to leave the house somedays, I found myself wandering through the Sky Store on the HD box.

In less than 5 minutes, 5 movies where purchased, and were instantly available to view (they also post you out a DVD). In case you’re thinking, “Sky must be paying her to plug their store” – I WISH. It’s simply something worth passing on as there’s a world of options, which we’ve always gone out of our way to avoid due to monetary issues, despite the pointing, and the “MUMMY LOOK, LOOK, MINIONS, LOOK!” followed by wailing, feelings of guilt, etc. etc.

Anyway, without further ado…

Despicable Me 2: Indeed Despicable Me 3 is currently in the cinemas, so there’s no better time to revisit the second instalment in the franchise. It’s got a decent soundtrack, the minions aren’t garbling all the time, Agnes is adorable, and Lucy’s “cruuuumpin'” is something to behold.

Winnie The Pooh: Released back in 2011, the John Cleese narrated revisit to The 100 Acre Wood is pretty fecking relatable (and therefore a total giggle-fest) given the level of neurosis on display.

Trolls: They don’t just “hug and sing and dance, and hug and sing and dance, and hugandsingANDDANCE”; they’re also pretty nifty at scrapbooking (well, Poppy is). And they’re dark. Branch (Justin Timberlake) is particularly macabre – and with good reason. Featuring a cracking soundtrack (cherry picked by Timberlake), a wonderfully imagined world, a lurry load of heart, a creepy cloud in sports socks, and defecated cupcakes, this wasn’t nearly as saccharin as feared. Observe…

Moana: Behold the “Disney Princess” reimagined as anatomically correct and “FEARLESS AF”. One could bang on about the humour, the Rock’s surprisingly affable singing voice (don’t worry, there isn’t much singing. In fact, they seem to squeeze most of the singing into the first 20 minutes), and Jemaine Clement’s shiny ode to Bowie, but it’s better to just say “Back in yisser box, Ariel…”

Sing: This was the biggest surprise. After much campaigning, badgering, and arm poking, we added this to the list. The trailer does not do this film justice. Don’t let those bunnies aping Nicki Minaj turn you off, and it’s not an an homage to the likes of American Idol, or The Voice, or ALL the singing competitions that just won’t bugger off. It’s heartwarming, humble, relatable – and that’s after watching it pretty much every day for the last three weeks. Every. Day.

Have anything to add to the mix? PLEASE leave your picks in the comments below. Like, PLEASE – we’ve got another six weeks to go!!!

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