Baby, Body, Reviews, Uncategorized

Baby Got Nappy Rash? Here’s a Surprising Revelation…

WARNING: This article contacts graphic images of an abominable poo-bomb – hence why your eyes are presently being treated to this pristine pink flurry of (wildly unrealistic) loveliness … Drink it in. What follows isn’t pretty.

So, the baby is teething. Badly. For the last 4 weeks running, our morning alarm involves a wailing baby, a wall of stench, and an ode to Spud from that scene in Trainspotting.

For those unaware; with teething usually comes the mother of all diarrhoea, making the green gunge initially produced by your baby in the first few weeks on earth seem like a bowl of sunshine and lollipops. This shit is mucousy, bizarrely stringy, and honks like the bowls of hell.


While teething itself isn’t responsible for nappy rash, the relentless diarrhoea associated with teething can cause rather nasty nappy rash on account of just how caustic it can be. As for why there’s diarrhoea deluge; it’s said that the excess saliva caused by teething affects the gastrointestinal system, but apparently that’s a myth…

Health professionals have a vaild concern; if every parent just shrugs persistent squits off as “meh, teeth” a lot of babies with serious health issues may be misdiagnosed, or an infant could become dangerously dehydrated. All I know from a personal level is that my two kids got fierce viscous, honky, persistent poos whenever they were teething. Although, they could’ve picked it up from a teething ring that encountered our not-so-clean floor…

Digression dispensed; here’s an example of such megapoos… Behold what greeted me after nap time last Friday…


Indeed they are whole raisins…


The poor child had been turned into a pellet gun…

Now that we’ve surveyed the shite that we’re dealing with, imagine what it does to delicate skin. The poor bairn was in rag order with nappy rash. It’s not as if she was being left to languish in her own filth (for very long), yet still the rash took hold. And spread. Fast.

We tried creams and talcs with a high-zinc content (Caldesene and Caldease Cream for example), but they didn’t work. Bepanthem; it didn’t make it any worse, but it didn’t make it any better either. As for the likes of Sudocreme and Savlon, they were too drying on her skin. She needed something with antibacterial properties that was soothing and moisturising.

So behold this little beauty. And, again, I’m not getting paid to plug stuff (I WISH).

After weeks of scaldy arse, two days of this stuff and she was good as new. Still is. It’s obviously a bit pricier than your average bum cream, retailing at about €7.50 in Boots. AND it’s not just for bums; you can use it on an array of placed. Yours truly, for example, lashes it on the decolletage because it’s a very good moisturiser.

Consider yisserselves informed.

P.S. If you know someone living in or going to the UK, ask them to pick up a load of this stuff for you. We’re not allowed to get Calgel over the counter in Ireland because seemingly we’re not to be trusted with Lidocaine. We’ll lose the run of ourselves, or something to that effect.

It knocks the arse off Bonjella for sore gum relief.

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