Mammy’s Mystery Meatloaf

Why is it mysterious? Because it started life as a more traditional meatloaf and it’s transformed into something far tastier and less heavy than a slab of minced meat, pork sausages and onion sitting in yer gut. Plus it looks a lot more appetising… well, as appetising as a brick of minced meat can be. But what meat is it, hmmm?? *strokes chin*

You will need…

• A bread loaf tin. I got mine in Tescos
• Minced turkey breast (mystery over), about 400grams or whatever comes in the packet
• One egg
• Seasoning: time for that garlic powder again, salt, pepper, and whatever else you have festering in that cupboard.
• Dash of milk
HP Fruity Sauce (very important. Almost as important as the turkey mince)
• Half a mug of breadcrumbs (don’t worry about buying breadcrumbs, just get one of your children to pick apart a few slices of bread)
• Whatever veg/cheese you have hanging around the fridge. I didn’t have shallots/onions but they work well too


• Lop the turkey mince into a bowl, along with the seasoning (whatever you feel is right), a dollop of the HP Sauce, the breadcrumbs, the egg, the dash of milk, and whatever you have in the fridge. In this case, I had Feta cheese (handy as it goes great with turkey), half a courgette, a bit of red pepper, and some steamed carrots that the baby refused to eat. Dice the feta, courgette etc and add to the bowl.


• And the best news is that you need to plunge your hand in to mix the ingredients properly. If it feels still quite wet and slimy, add some flour. You may be thinking “I KNEW it, she’s going to start sneaky fancy shite like flour into recipes” – but it’s ok. If you don’t have flour (I’ve had the same packet in my cupboard for about two years, which someone else bought…) just add more mangled bread slices or – and bear with me here – baby rice. The plain white “first spoons” type. Only a sprinkling to absorb any wetness. Our motto is fast becoming “whatever you’ve got knocking around”.

Anyway, it looks (and feels) rank, but give it a chance…

to look even more rank, yaaaay! No, now, hang on. It’s to go into the loaf tin.


• Listen, what can I say, it’s not the most attractive dish, but lash a layer of the HP Fruity Sauce on top before you bung it into the oven, and you’d almost straddle it by comparison.


• Deposit it into the pre-heated oven (180, or 170 if it’s a fan oven) for 45 minutes, before applying another layer of Fruity Sauce (not being endorsed by HP Fruity Sauce) and putting back in into the oven for a further 15 minutes.


• Cut a few slices and leave to cool a bit (about 15 minutes) while it’s still in the tin. If you try to fish a slice out of the tin too soon, it’ll just be a load of mush. Like, even mushier than this.


• But, boy, does it taste amazing… Either serve with a salad (or just a fist of spinach in this case) or mash a slice into a burger bun and top with cheese plus burger lid and serve with homemade chips (same as the roasties, just cut into chip shapes).

• If you have anything knocking around your press, like olives or sundried tomatoes, feel free to chuck them in too. As for the exact condiments used in this instance (that’s the garlic powder being shy there, and that white bottle contains milk), here they are in all their glory. Try not to get distracted by the mess in the background. I know, it’s hard because it is SUCH A STATE.


• If you’d rather stick to the traditional recipe, just do the same as above but just with beef mince and skinless pork sausages.

Or why not experiment; minced pork with chorizo, tomatoes and mozzarella? Because you’ve got all the time in the world to be experimenting, pfffft?!! True, but doesn’t crab meat with prawns, spinach and capers sound lovely? Because we’re all frigging millionaires, hah?!

Anyway, point is – whatever you fancy trying, the beauty about this dish is being able to just fling a load of stuff into a bowl, mix by hand, and throw into a baking tin and leave covered in the fridge until you’re ready to put it in the oven.

If you have any variations to add, please do so below!

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