“Where are your ‘First Day at School’ snaps??! Why haven’t you posted any??” has been a repeated question over the last week.
There’s a number of reasons why no “obligatory cute kid in oversized school uniform” pics have been posted to the plethora of social platforms.
While the child’s Digital Footprint should always be at the forefront of one’s mind when posting a photo to the internet, this was not the main reason why there are no photos of the four-year-old’s first day of school.
Firstly, there was no time to park her at the school gate for ‘First Day’ pic because A) we were late (our school’s day commences at 8:20am… EIGHT. TWENTY. AM) and B) someone else had already parked their kids under there for a photo. No biggie, I’d just get a snap of her on her way out of school instead, right? Wrong.
As we were heading out, I noticed a damp patch, right under her bag, spreading across the top of her trousers.
“What’s that? Did you lean up against something wet?”
“OK, let’s keep walking, we need to get to the shops… why are you wriggling? Here, you can’t take your trousers down in the middle of the street!”
“WET MAMMY, NEED TO TAKE THEM OFF!”
“OK, let’s go down this driveway for some privacy.”
Before I’d even put the brake on the buggy, the 4-year-old was starkers from the waist down and was attempting to disrobe her top half. What in the name of Jaysis was going on?! Then I clocked the torrent of water trickling through the base of her backpack…
“Did you close your water bottle after break?”
“Aren’t you glad we brought the coat you always refuse to wear now?”
So there are three things both Mammy and child learned on their first day of Big School…
• ALWAYS make sure the water bottle is closed
• ALWAYS put the child’s spare pair of clothes in a plastic bag
• ALWAYS leave for school earlier than you should – mainly because you’ll invariably get stuck behind some mahoosive off-road vehicle jamming up the road.
Do we have any photos of the child’s milestone day? We do indeed, but as she’s effectively a tiny flasher in nothing but a flowery raincoat you’ll forgive us for not sharing them.
Did you learn anything on your first day at big school?