Mammy’s Fake Bakes: DIY Cupcakes

Want to create a cost-effective birthday cake that’s 90% icing (you know they only eat the icing) and you don’t have to carve into slices while several 5-year-olds circle you at speed? Do stick around, because you’ve only come to the right place!

The first thing you need to do is get yourself to Lidl and nab 12 plain Queen Madeira Cakes for approximately €1.99. They’re effectively buns just without the joy.

Secondly, check out Lidl’s baking section whereupon you should find ready-made icing and various toppings. Should things start becoming costly (like over a fiver in total) you can always make your way to your nearest Dealz or Euro2 shop for their range of packaged crack. They even have piping bags.


Next, get your child to sit still for long enough to help you make your cupcakes. To make things easier, you will need a muffin/bun baking tray (also located in Dealz). Why do you need a baking tray when there’s no baking involved? For dunking of course. This is the best mess-free option…

Pour your different toppings into the baking tin, then slather your Queen Cakes in icing (you can try piping but for quicker results just lash a load on with a knife) before dunking each iced buns into your desired topping.

This intrinsic method should minimise the amount of mess; just ensure any nearby toddler doesn’t get their mitts on the tube of 100s & 1000s… The clean up after this instance was epic as the little buggers hop around like fleas.

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Et voila. The 5-year-old made all these herself and was so chuffed doling them out at her birthday party.


Yes, we had the party at home. Never again. But more on that another time.

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