For almost a year, I’ve been tinkering about on this blog, fitting it in whenever possible/the whim took hold. Lately, that’s been approximately once a week, which – given this hack used to write approximately 10 posts a day on other websites – isn’t quite up to scratch…
Things have been particularly tough since Christmas. Everyone’s happy, healthy, but we’re just not sleeping. I’m getting on average 2 hours of unbroken sleep a night (about 4 hours in total) because the 23-month-old WILL NOT SLEEP. She’s never slept. OK, so there was a golden period of about 3 months over a year ago when she slept through the night, but that’s over now. Sorry, for now (as God is my witness, we WILL sleep again). Her night’s sleep goes a little something like this:
7pm: Tucked up in her cot. Happy out. Falls fast asleep.
11pm: Starts mooching.
12am: Starts the crying/yelling. There is nothing wrong with her.
4am: Still crying/yelling. There is still nothing wrong with her.
7:30am: Have to prise her from the bed because she’s out cold
And, yes, we have tried everything.
In conjunction with not sleeping at night, this is generally what she does during the day…
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So this is the soundtrack to the morning… "can't close it *screeeeeam*… won't let you show me how to close it *screeeeeeeeaaaam* … don't you dare take it away *SCREEEEEEEEEAAAM* #terribletwos #noisybaby #myears #stubbornlove #parentingtheshitoutoflife #mamlife #makemeamammy
Excuses dispensed, this week is the week when I get my fucking ducks in a row. I have been letting you and me down. With that in mind, here is the future daily itinerary for this here venture. I was just going to write it down and stick it to the fridge door, but posting it here means it HAS to be done.
Tuesdays: Mammy’s Mealtime Moments
It’ll be mostly a quick recipe for a dinner your kids can push around the plate/discard on the floor/heave into their drinking vessel. Or it could be an updated version of this 3 Minute Chocolate Chip Cake
Wednesday: Mammy’s Midweek Moan
It could be current affairs, it could be complete fluff, or it could be a rant about how this always happens pretty much every time I go to Lidl in the ‘Noggin – except this middleaged man sans car seats has gone to the bother of taking up two spots.
Thursdays: Mammy’s Big Review
Let’s face it, as I never go out, it’ll probably be TV/Soap related. Although, once I win the lotto, the dream career of a hotel/restaurant reviewer awaits.
Weekends: Mammy’s Moment of Zen
Love it or loathe it (the weekend, that is), it is imperative to take five minutes for yourself. Once you’ve stopped cackling uproariously; taking five minutes is possible – if you park the kids in front of the telly/lock yourself in a room once a responsible adult is home. What will the Moment of Zen entail? Well, it could be a video of a babbling brook. It could be a Reiki hand placement to energise, or a specific crystal to help you relax. It could be the smiling picture of the cutest baby because your one cries all the time. OOOOOORRR it could be how to make the BEST gin for under a Euro.
Here, Mammy loves you.
Let’s do this.